Feeling in limbo

I am not entirely sure what is up with me, but I feel a bit out of wack. Is it my upcoming 40th? My lack of overall sureness of where I fit in this world, my utter lack of knowing what to do from one minute to the next and so feeling like nothing is getting done at all? Who knows. I do know that I am a bit on the weary side of life right now.

I do like my job for the most part. I hate that there is constant drama, and no one really wants to do the job right and so it is left to me, who decided to try to fix things for the better, to do it with no help from anyone. Plus since they hired the new girl my hours have been cut in half which really hurts that paycheck in a big way. I need the hours or else it isn't worth it to work there. Knowing that they will pick up when the pregnant girl goes on leave really doesn't help matters right now.

The driving of the Amish children is not a hard job and although they can get a bit annoying in the afternoons it really is only 30 minutes a trip out of my day and I know that once the check for the month comes it I will know it is worth it.

I put in an application with WKU as an office assistant online. Will just started working on campus this past week and if we could work the same or close to same hours I would say we would be working on getting ahead finally.

I have projects coming out the wazoo that I have been trying to finish up as I find a minute to sit and create. I am half way done with the Lisa Day class and the Cathy Z class that is currently going on is well into the almost done stage. I need to sit and get the pictures together and finish up the journaling for some of the alphabet and it will be done. The class itself has about a week and a half left. The Ali Edwards class starts on October 1 so I want to get things done.

I really hate feeling at loose ends. When all the little things in life don't fall in line I get frustrated and then I fall apart. I want a steady job that allows us to not only get all the bills paid on time, but allows us to actually do something. I want to feel secure and not like the end of the world is coming at me. I know that things will work themselves out as they should but I don't always have the patience to wait. I need to find some!@