Wow! It's August already!

I cannot wrap my head around that! I mean come on, where did the past 7 months go, and can we please slow down a little? Some days feels like I am on a fast moving train through my own life. I wanna slow down and feel in control.

I remember talking to older people growing up and they always talked about how fast time seemed to move for them, and I would think they were crazy cuz time definitely didn't for me. Fast forward 30 years and I know exactly what they were talking about. Makes me want to go back and relive my childhood when I had not a care in the world.

The prompt for today and the key word for Scrapbooking from the Inside Out August kit seem to go hand in hand. Confidence is the theme of this months kit, and the prompt is about a moment in life when I felt independent and in control. I like exploring the inside of me. I have been trying to see myself the way others who know me do and appreciate myself more. The My Freedom class and the ideas and prompts from SIO as well as other avenues I have been per suing have helped in that little endeavor.

Okay the first time that I felt that I was truly independent, strong and in control was back in July of 1996. My daughters and I had just spent about 5 or 6 weeks in Kentucky visiting my parents and I had not heard from my then husband but twice in that time when the year before he called daily to check up on me. I knew that something was up but didn't know what it was. A week or so after getting home things began to come into focus for me. I finally back him into a corner (literally) and asked him what the problem was and what he though the solution should be. He told me point blank that he had been seeing a girl (16 to his 26) and he was in love and wanted a divorce. I guess I should have been devastated, but instead I felt this power come over me. I knew that the abuse and problems that I had put up with for 5 years was over and that I was a strong enough person to take care of myself and my two little girls all on my own. I didn't need nor want this abusive man in my life any longer and any feelings that I thought I had felt for him just washed away.

I kicked him out and drove to a divorce attorney the next day. He wouldn't fight for anything because he just wanted out of the marriage. I stayed in Utah until September with the help of my family. I signed my second set of divorce papers on my 26th birthday and moved to Kentucky the next day. I have never looked back with any kind of regret and swore that I would never let anyone else in my life take advantage of my and make me feel so insignificant again. I know that I am a strong person. No one can tell me differently and I am the only one that can make myself feel differently.

Twelve years later and I am happily married to the most wonderful man. He sees me for who and what I am and loves me anyway. We have been together for 7 years and will be celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary this October. I finally found the man I want to grow old with.